The Infernal Madness Of Rulb Milp Sploo

ONE:

Once upon a time. No. Twice upon a time, in 1945, a Jew was born. His name was Derek Sheldon Kyklestein, he was genius, he smelled, and he drank cheese out of a can. He lived in Canterbury Wisconsin (not really sure if that's a place!). There was a problem with his existence though, he was shorter than a horny toad (which is 5.4 inches!). This is his story . . .

The year is 1955, the month is April, the day is Wednesday, the time is 12:78pm, the location is Kalamazoo MI, the mood is somber, the dogs are barking, the cats are playing a tin horn rendition of "what in the name of love" by Remington Steal, the Fish are drowning, the houses are ablaze, the town hall is not, the mothers are birthing in a quiet tree, the fathers are dead, the graves are desecrated, the children are in boxes being shipped to Jew City (formerly Canterbury) Wisconsin, the Asians are being skinned to make suede and leather, and the one responsible is standing on main street watching his evil deeds unfold, his name is Rulb Milp Sploo . . . . He is ten years old. Now you may be thinking: "How can a ten year old who is shorter than a horny toad be responsible for such horrendous carnage?" and if you're not than you're ahead of the game, but the answer is one name, one evil being so corrupted that he could only disguise his identity by enlisting in the military and becoming a drill sergeant, his name is Ted Lasky a.k.a. The Oy Veil! The most evil of Jewish Clowns! The instigator of the legion of polygamus Gnomes! Yes he was quite evil indeed.